Permission to build something small on purpose

I'm not going to pretend to know what is going on in your head, or exactly what you would like your business to look like. I'm not going to make assumptions or try to guess.

Instead, I am going to talk about permission and how we often look to someone outside us to give it.

The permission to build a small business that fits into your life, instead of having your life fit in around your business. I could talk about permission and why we even feel we need it, but that is a topic for another day.

The thing about creating a business in your fifties or beyond is that it needs to fit around your already full life. It is one piece. An important piece but one of many.

Not everyone wants a big business at this stage of life. Big business often means long hours, staff, pressure and the kind of mental load that follows you into bed at night. The invoice you forgot to send. The client deadline landing on a Saturday. The idea that shows up at midnight demanding to be written down.

That's not a criticism of big business. It's just not what everyone is chasing right now.

But to build something small on purpose can be challenging.

For one, the internet, in all its wisdom, is a minefield of six-figure this and hustle culture that - a billion strategies and courses and YouTube videos that will show you how to turn your business into an overnight viral sensation that will have you owning your own private jet before the month is out.

All of which have a way of making you feel like you mustn't be that committed, or your business mustn't be that great, if you're not hustling as well. You feel less-than, like you're not a real business person if that's not the game you're playing.

I wonder if that is why many of us resort to calling ourselves freelancers or consultants, and we use the words project or side-gig instead of saying I run a business doing X.

Then there is the ability - or should I say inability - to say NO. That tiny little word that causes more trouble than it has any right to. Hands up if saying NO can be a little tricky for you. Note, I had to put my pen down for a second as both my arms shot up into the air.

Having to say NO to a client who wants to work with you because you are already at capacity - whatever your ideal capacity is - be that one day per week, five days, or something in the middle. The not wanting to disappoint, particularly those potential dream clients, or the regulars who you love.

Then there is the fear of the dry spell - what if next week is quiet, what if the whole month is dead, I should take the work while it's there, shouldn't I? Even if that means a sixty-hour week and skipping a shopping day with your best friend.

I can feel the pull sometimes to say no to the other things that matter to me - the friend catch-ups, the FaceTime calls with my grandsons. The pull to go into my office after dinner instead of hanging out on the couch with my husband. Just one more email, one more post, one more idea to flesh out. And this is at the start of building something - there is a lot of foundation work to lay down. Brand colours, fonts, invoice templates (should I ever manage to get any clients), marketing strategies to explore, networking - need I go on.

Saying NO feels impossible at times. And this is what it looks like to be creating something small that fits with your life. Imagine if I decided to become the next Janine Ellis.

Our needs are different at this stage of life. What we want in terms of work-life balance looks different. We don't want work to be all-consuming. We don't want to say no to the other things that matter to us.

Sometimes, in the beginning, you feel like you have to say yes to everything. When I was building my website design and copywriting business, I thought about saying yes to clients who needed help with general admin - creating systems, streamlining processes, setting up automated email responses. This wasn't the work I wanted to do. Some people love that stuff, but I'd rather poke my eyes out with a sharp stick (as my dad used to say) than sit down at my desk to do it. I could have said yes. It was paid work. It would have felt nice to see a paid invoice show up in my bank account. But it wasn't the business I wanted to create, not the work that inspired me.

I've spent many years compromising on what I wanted to do work-wise in order to pay bills - school fees, mortgages, the rest of it. Now I get to choose. I get to design a business that not only has financial benefits but fulfils me on a personal level. I had to get used to saying no to things that didn't fit my vision. I had to learn to believe that I deserved to say yes to the things that brought me joy and no to the rest.

It's okay to choose small. It's okay to say NO. It's okay to create your boundaries and stick to them. It's okay to design your business the way you want it to look, not the way others tell you it should look.

The whole reason you started your own business - or part of it - was so you could finally be in control of what it looked like. So you could design it, be the boss of it, and have it work for your life.

Big or small, loud or quiet, five days a week or two - this is your permission to do it your way. No justification required.